Man Vs. Bear
Would you rather be alone in the woods with a strange man or a bear?
A new viral TikTok discussion asks a simple question: Would you rather be alone in a forest with a man or a bear?
Without hesitation, countless women chose the bear, which left quite a few men with their knickers in a wad. Multiple reaction videos featured men’s public temper tantrums over the popular bear response.
"Y'all acting like men are scarier than bears? You ain't watched enough nature documentaries, baby," said Jonathan Buchanan before he dove into a mansplanation of bear facts and accused women of not “watching enough nature documentaries” even though statistics show that far more women have been hurt by the hands of men than by the paws and jaws of bears.
I am not only obsessed with nature documentaries, but I also spend an almost excessive amount of time alone in the woods. I’ve had plenty of unexpected encounters with both men and bears in the woods.
As an outdoor journalist, I’ve also covered quite a few brutal bruin attacks. (Including Black Bear Hunts, Kills, and Eats Arizona Man Drinking Coffee, Grizzly Attacks Two Wrestlers in Shoshone National Forest, and Boxer, Shoots, Stabs Brown Bear in Siberia After It Kills His Friend.)
While I’m admittedly not a bear expert, I probably get bears better than the average woman.
I am still 100% Team Bear.
Why?
Every bear I’ve encountered in the woods has been more afraid of me than I was of him. Most bears only attack if they are provoked. I try very hard not to provoke them. It’s trickier to predict what will provoke some men.
As a hunter, I’m regularly in the woods with a firearm. If it came down to defending myself in an attack, I would rather shoot a bear than a man (although I am willing and prepared to do either to save my own life).
I’ve never had to lie to a bear about “meeting my husband at the truck” or that my “dad is further up the trail” to hide the fact that I am alone. I’ve done this to random men I’ve encountered in wild spaces numerous times.
A random bear won’t lock me up in the basement of his den for the next twenty years.
The worst a bear can do to me is kill me. (See #4)
I know, I know #NotAllMen.
Most of the men I know are fine human beings who respect women. I am married to one and have raised two more.
The problem is, it’s hard to tell them apart.
How many times have we heard men defend the horrific actions of their friends/neighbors/classmates by saying things like, “he’s not that kind of guy?”
Even men can’t discern the monsters in their ranks.
Yet numerous men mock and laugh at women for preferring the company of strange bears over strange men, telling us we’re wrong, that we’re being ridiculous, and that we are overreacting.
Fellas, we aren’t hysterical, stupid, or insane like you claim. We’re just being honest.
I appreciate your attempts to deny our lived reality while actively gaslighting us. (I’m lying. I don’t appreciate it at all.)
But I’m still all in on Team Bear.
Quote That Made Me Go Hmmm
"It's a bear! Granted, it seems like a very intelligent bear, but it's still a bear! It has no concept of revenge."
- Christopher Barnard
Bears also shoot their hunting partners less, so with that fact alone I may fall under team bear.
As a woman who is alone in remote wilderness alllll the time and who has worked in the area with highest density of polar bears on the planet- Team Bear 100% for every reason you listed. Sighhhh.