Armageddon is Coming (AKA "My Week in Review")
Thoughts on wild conspiracy theories and celestial marvels
As this week is coming to a close, I’m packing up the camping gear and getting ready to hit the road. While the world is prepping for Monday’s scheduled apocalypse (AKA “the solar eclipse”), I am prepping to head into the eye of the storm (AKA “the path of totality”).
I enjoy a good conspiracy theory as much as the next gal, but there are enough orbiting this celestial event to make even my head spin. But I’m not reaching for my tinfoil hat just yet.
I’ve watched the chatter on TikTok and YouTube with mild amusement. Apparently, the eclipse’s path of totality will pass over more than a half dozen towns named Nineveh. End-of-the-world conspiracists seem to believe that a nebulous connection to a biblical town of the same name means… something. Whether that something is secret government mind-control measures or the deliverance of God’s fiery wrath depends on which social media influencers you follow.
Unfortunately, few people passing along this scaremongering theory seem to know how to use a map. Or perform a simple Google search.
It only took me a few keystrokes to disprove the story. (And I’m over 50, so you know I’m technologically challenged.)
There are indeed seven towns named “Nineveh” in the U.S., located in Indiana, Missouri, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Virginia. Only two of them are situated in the path of totality. So much for Biblical sevens and sites of sin and depravity.
“But Alice, local governments are warning their citizens there could be a collapse of power grids and communications systems. They say you should have a full tank of gas and extra groceries and cash on hand.”
Well, that’s just a good common sense practice whether there’s a solar eclipse headed our way or not.
So despite the apocalyptic hubbub, I’m taking my dog (and my husband) to a campground in the Ozarks to view the last total solar eclipse viewable from the contiguous United States for twenty-plus years. I’m jumping on this one because life and health are never guaranteed, and I’ve got spectacular things to witness.
Don’t worry, I’m packing extra cans of beanie weenies and some bottled water, just in case.
Penny loves camping! (And beanie weenies)
Where You Can Find Me This Week
Besides being trapped under copious amounts of camping gear, I was also featured on Field & Stream this week.
The 8 Best Turkey Calls of 2024, Tested and Reviewed - This one was a fun collaboration that exposed me to some new calls. I can’t wait to use them in the field this Spring. Turkeys beware!
Quotes That Made Me Go Hmmm
“If you've never experienced a total eclipse, you must go to see totality. And, if you have seen a total eclipse, you surely must want to see another one and so must go see totality. Staying in Ames to witness just a 95 percent event is the equivalent of reading an online recipe for Kraft macaroni and cheese - compared with a totality experience that is more like a three-course dinner cooked for you, personally, by Gordon Ramsay.”
~Steve Kawaler, professor of physics and astronomy at Iowa State University